The Emmaline - Maditas Blog

SOMEBODY TO MAKE IT BETTER

Janis and I had a beautiful long conversation about life and pain and how you sometimes just want somebody or something to come and fix the problem for you and take your pain away. If only the painkiller will take away my physical pain so I can get back to living my life. If only someone would make me feel better when I am emotional. If someone would just save me and solve all my problems…

Numbing, supressing, distracting ourselves in all sort of forms is often our way to face pain and suffering.

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KITCHEN!

We built in our kitchen! The wall looks gross in this picture and I would love to say it does not look that bad in real life, but it sadly does haha. I just doesnt notice it that much. Maybe thats also because of the joy to have a kitchen. For a long time we just had a stove in one of the rooms and it grossed me out immensly. To now have our own clean-ish stove and kitchen again feels like a big luxery!

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LIFE LATELY

It´s been a while since I wrote about our life lately. So we need to do a little catching up. On the 15th of July we handed the keys to our flat to our landlord and with that another chapter closed. We were a bit early so we spent our time waiting lying on the floor and watching Tour de France.

Afterwards we went to Fräulein Kreuzberg 🙂

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CONNECT!

CONNECT has been a wonderful but very suprising gift to me! And I truly dont know how to capture what the last four weeks have been for me in words.

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LIFE LATELY

The last few weeks were so hot here that all the farmes brought in the crop and its been so cool to be so close to fields and farms and truly see the season changing.

Moving can be super exhausting!

Both scenarios did truly happen 😀

Man sometimes things dont go according to plan haha I was dying new sheets for our bed and I was going for a reeeally subtle pink/rose/pastell tone and this is what I got hahaha

Poor Albrecht! Its kind of a lot! I mean, if I was going for a really girly bed and room this would be PERFECT lol but I was not. Oh well…Albrecht doesnt really care though – thankfully 😉

LOVE our hammock and spending my afternoons in it!

Ilse LOVES to sit at the gate and watch whats going on on the otherside. And apparently you can see quiet a lot – according to Albrecht who at some point joined her haha

Thats been life lately!

GARDEN UPDATE

The previous owner had a pathway right through the middle of the garden. Which gave the garden a really kind of square feeling and it wasnt really super practical to use. So I had this vision of having it at least at the top more curved and one Sunday – after both of us had spent the day sleeping from exhaustion – we tackled it without giving it too much thought lol

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MOVING

When life uninvited is interrupted its so easy to hope for an event to change that. I´ve been so guilty of that. And you make up your mind that when X happens things will be back to normal. “When I am married I will be safe and secure” ” When I move I will have this wonderful life and when I get a job I will be worry free” And to some extent that can be true, sometimes its the best thing to shake things up, to move, to move on, to follow the yearning of your soul but I feel like we often forget that when we do that we also take our story with us. But that can not be shown in an Instagram post or a picture. To the outside it looks like this wonderful and colourful and full life but what it can not show is the twist and turnes, the highs and lows and the in betweens it took and still takes to get there. What it does not show is the trauma, guilt, grieve, helplessness, a feeling of loss that can still be there.

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LIFE LATELY

Hello, my name is Ilse and I dont like walking three flights of stairs in this heat.

Life lately has been warm and full of “this is really happening”. Right before we started to move out stuff from the flat to the house I stepped on an old nail.

Pretty deep. Albrecht worked on the roof all week and we had been very careful on where to walk and take steps but one evening as I was making dinner on the bbq I took a step back and full force into a nail. My birkenstock took of the rust but it still went into my foot.

I don´t think I have ever had something that hurt this bad. It happened on a Saturday evening and by Sunday morning I could not walk. Which was really unconvinied….not being able to walk on a construction side or walking with crutches is not fun.

I spent the next 3 days basically like this and icying my foot and it healed fine in the end and I enjoy my freedom that I took for granted before lol

We started packing up our flat and one evening it really hit me that this is really happening. This flat felt like home and turning it back into “any” and not “our” flat is abittersweet moment.

The nice thing about this move is that its happening very slowly and organically. Its not this “lets move everything in 2 days and say goodbye to our house”. We have been slowly taking one room after the next, gipsy style on our trailer lol, to the house.

Having something familiar at the house felt so good!

Albrecht always makes fun of my need to have containers and boxes for stuff haha but like, its so conviniend!! It took me 3 minutes and I had pretty much the whole bathroom packed and its still all neat and organized. So handy!

By now the air mattress is back in storage and our bed is also moved to the house.

The only thing I start to miss is a clean-ish kitchen. We have a stove at the house and bought a small fridge but its all downstairs in this mess of old house/used to house lots of mice/still smells weird/construnction side and I really quickly loose my appetit plus we are so occupied with everything else that often times neither of us want to cook. So we are eating a lot take out or at a restaurant. There is a time for everything and if this is what fits this time I will make the most of it. Also, things could really be worse when that is your problem lol

We will be moved out of our flat by the 15th of July, we will have internet at the house at the end of the week and a summer full of stuff to do. It will be interesting and lots of change.