"Manchmal spricht ein Baum
Durch das Fenster
Mir Mut zu
Manchmal leuchtet ein Buch
Auf meinem Himmel
Manchmal ein Mensch
den ich nicht kenne
Der meine Worte erkennt"
One thing I´m learning over and over again is that it does not get easier. Dealing with any challenge or trauma is hard every time, no matter how often I´ve overcome something like it already. It may get more simple because I can clearly seperate things but to change and to evolve out of pain is so hard.
I read a few weeks ago an instagram post on how easy it feels to speak about a struggle after you have overcome it but speaking about it while still being in it and facing it every single time takes so much courage and kindness and love.
I´m waiting for this moment of “yes, I have arrived and everything is back to perfect”. Actually, that is not true. I´m not waiting for my life to be perfect, I am longing for a time where a constant contentment is the foundation of my life. Gratitude, joy and contentment. And its hard to except that it is not yet the time while also being positive that it will be the case soon. Just around the corner – I just haven´t figured out which corner.
I try hard to heal every part of me that thinks I am not enough, not worthy of love and acceptance or that it´s my fault for being in this situation . And while I am at it, I am teaching myself healthy boundaries again. I want to get to a place where I can freely say “yes” because I do so with joy and out of knowing my own boundaries, which also leads to a lot of “no”s and that feels very painful sometimes. Don´t fill your life with crap Madita!