The question ‚how are you?‘ is one I am honestly lost on how to answer. I‘m better than I have been for the last 8 years, I‘m exhausted to the deepest part and core of myself, I‘m lost of all strenght and power to really get anything done and wondering ‚what, at the heart of it, caused this deep burn out ‘ but I am also doing good. For the most part I am at peace – or I try to be.
There are days where I just wish I knew where all this was talking me. Where I knew what I will study/work/do with my life or at least have the strenght to do anything to figure it all out. I am the first to want to work but here I am and can‘t.
There really is no point in doing anything else, because I quite simply physically cant. I am waiting – actively waiting. Trying not to rush through this time of rest and reflection, learning and becoming.
Instead I am still waiting – resting – becoming whole not through something I do but through everything I am.
Instead I am – still unable to do as I wish but this time at least without pain.