I’m exhausted to the point that I don’t even know how to describe it or put it into words. It feels like I am drained to the point that I can’t find my strength again without something coming from something else than me. VIEW POST
HAPPY MONDAY – Filling in the blanks…
I was talking to a friend the other day and it became so clear how we all tend to just share the good or paint a picture of someone else’s life and forget to fill in the blanks. The blanks that are the struggle, the hard and scary moments, the courage it took to get to that moment. The pain, the grief or simply doubt. You can see achievements and moments of highs but we all have doubts and experience hard times that test us.VIEW POST
When things don´t work out I create a desire to plan….
We had a phase last months were things were NOT working out. Just everything was not happening how we needed it to and I realised one thing during that time: I start to plan!
In the midst of it all I create a CRAZY desire to plan. I want to plan my day, my week, our long term goals and our finances. I want to set up a plan when to get pregnant and how to save up savings in order to have a house, a nice car, paid off student loans and emergency funds. I just want to plan it all out. My next month? scheduled out! Our next few years? Talked about and goals written down! Our finances? all thought through! I will write lists, create spreadsheets and am ready to sacrifice my love for shopping and good shoes so that we have a plan. All really good ideas but what do you do when life happens and it does not go according to plan?I create a desire plan so that I feel in control. Logically you would think that I want to have a good plan so that I have structure. Selfmade structure which can bring peace and comfort! But really I just want to be in control of my own happiness. Having money, a house and children are all substutites for my happiness. Things I think I need in order to have a happy and peaceful life.
Here is the thing though, if I have learned one thing through falling incredible sick or just simply having things not work out: all of that does not define my happiness! I don´t need things to work out or be healthy to be happy. I can be grateful, fulfilled and happy no matter the circumstances. No car, no home and certainly no money can buy me inner peace and happiness. And sadly, no plan!
Ironically though: I find happiness in a good plan!
<3
Lots of love to you!!
Madita
When life is hard…
Hello world!
I´m not going to lie the last few weeks life has been hard! And I would rather not write about and shout it into the universe for the whole world to read. But I promised myself to keep up this blog. Instead of disappearing until my world is nice and easy again I will just share my life with you – and still see the good in all the craziness.