CONNECT has been a wonderful but very suprising gift to me! And I truly dont know how to capture what the last four weeks have been for me in words.
I was very set on not going to CONNECT because I felt like the last place for me where I wanted and needed to be would be a campus with 100 people, in a position of responsibilty when I couldn´t even take proper care of myself. Then one thing let to another and we were super short on staff and so I kept my word and showed up. Expecting 4 weeks of madness that would set me back in my healing journey but for a good cause. And mostly because if I give you my word I will make sure I keep it.
And then I showed up and it was everything. It was intense, exhausting, fulfilling, successfull, challenging, joyful, emotional, a lot of work and even more work and a community of wonderful people. The big difference for me though this time: I knew how to show up while also taking care of myself and respecting my boundaries. I let myself be seen, the imperfect version of myself and the most wonderful thing happened: I was so loved for it, and so very much seen and every one of us did such a damn good job that I am so proud of us and myself. Most of it was work, 10-12 hours a day everyday. I have never been more glued to my phone then there but I´ve also never been more in one place with every part of my being. Every part of me was consumed by something regarding CONNECT and the strenght that came from that was remarkable. And when you are this busy with something so powerful, you realize very quickly whats worth your time and what isnt. What a valuable experience.
We had this wonderful and soul filling and truly life changing time but it looked nothing like society paints something like this to be. It was no walk in the park nor this always happy and easy time. It was everything. Every emotion you can think of was part of your day. Every bit of you needed to show up and work otherwise something would fall apart. You needed to respect your boundaries otherwise you would fall apart and through that the team. And while it was all of that, things moved in a pace that one day often times felt like three days because so much had happened.
I truly don´t know where to go with my every day life from here but what I hope I will always remember is, that if I am able to get something like this from the ground up and running, if I can be part of something so beautiful, if there are so many beautiful people in this world who show up and if I am able to show up there and be my absolute best self then I can do anything as long I am brave.
Community where we show up as human beings instead of human doings is so important, so healing and also art can be so healing. Life lived in all fullness , with all its complexety and shared with curious, loving people who walk with you is the greatest gift of all.
I am so very thankful for this experience and for the timing of it all. 4 months ago I would have ended up with severe headaches after a day and would not have know why.
I am looking forward to unpacking this unexpected gift and trying to move forward by taking all this wonderfulness with me.
100 young people. 41 staff and volunteers in total, including 7 organization team members. 3 weeks. Every meal cooked by us. 400 kg flour. 10,327 whatsapp messages in our private organization team group chat. 1 final performance. 450 guests.
So thankful for everyone who showed up, who shared our vision and for everyone who brought it to life! Lets change the world like this one moment a time!
